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Now, before the hate mail starts ... the World Trade Center was not funny and I am not in allegiance with the Axis of Evil or any other Alliance of Iniquity. But, after the attacks, I felt the onslaught of rabid patriotism and eager nationalism was much more traumatizing than the events of September 11th. As a matter of fact, I don't think I'll ever again be able to hear the words "September 11th" or, worse yet, "Nine-Eleven" without experiencing an involuntary gag reflex. And I know I'm not alone. I can't possibly be the only person who is, quite simply, 911'ed out.

I like America. And I felt (and feel) terrible about what happened to those people. But, since then, I've had it up to here with this whole apple pie-red white and blue-FDNY-WTC-911 attitude. Prime Time specials, commemorative CDs, specially painted silver dollars, crying eagle websites, tacky posters, ribbons of every imaginable color ... does the term "beating a dead horse" mean nothing to you people? Everywhere I turn it's shoved down my throat until, finally, I thankfully became totally desensitized to the whole thing.

And out of THAT desensitization this commercial idea was born. Hell, I'm working on making the damn snow globes! Wanna buy one? Email me and I'll let you know when they're finally done.

This fine, hand crafted commemorative snow globe of honor depicts the scene in New York immediately after the savage attack - poignantly capturing the moment that roused our countrymen to their feet and bound us together in solidarity - even in the face of such vicious carnage.

When you shake the September 11th World Trade Center Commemorative Snow Globe of Remembrance, a light dusting of ash, cement dust and asbestos, lovingly collected from the wreckage of the Twin Towers, falls and swirls.

Our fine artisans not only captured the sights of that memorable day, but also the sounds. Each time you and your family honor that day with your September 11th World Trade Center Commemorative Snow Globe of Remembrance a small recording of the sounds of those moments plays for you as well - replaying the screams of the innocent for you in the privacy of your own home. Hear the noise in the streets as a nation was attacked and democracy threatened.

In this amazing offer, this emotional personal reminder can be yours. Commemorate and relive those horrible moments day after day. Use it as a reminder of the blind, raging patriotism we all need to hold onto during these times of strife for our innocent, peace loving nation of good do-ers.

By calling the special 1-800 number below, we will also include a special free CD: The 10 Most Beloved Hymns of Patriotism, sung by the heroes themselves! Firefighters, Policemen, EMT workers and FBI field officers brought together for the first time! This amazing CD also features sound effects and accompaniment sounds from 911 calls and news reports of that fateful day. With sounds like these as a background for such moving, patriotic music, it can make even the most Muslim of hearts swell with remorse.

This is a once in a lifetime opportunity to purchase a tribute to our proud nation's perseverance in the face of adversity. Never again will such a valuable heirloom so accurately, reverently and patriotically preserve this historic moment in time be available to man. This is truly a once in a lifetime opportunity to forever capture those moments in both sight and sound.

Amazingly, this catalyst for touching family moments of patriotic hysteria can be yours for only $29.95! Your September 11th World Trade Center Commemorative Snow Globe of Remembrance will be shipped to you in a red, white and blue package, packed safely in shredded pages of the Koran.

As if this fantastic offer were not enough we will (subject to availability and limited to one commemorative pack per household) also include to those who take advantage offer within seven working days:

• A commemorative signed joint pledge from our glorious president and the honorable Tony Blair to steadfastly fight the evil of the world (subject to possibility) and make it a safer place for Americans everywhere.
• Genuine Arial photographs of air strikes upon the evil cult of the Taliban.
• An authentic Bin Laden 'Wanted' poster
• A Bin Laden Voo-Doo Doll (Pins Not Included)
• A genuine video of captured Taliban wrongdoers grovelingly apologizing for their wicked deeds moments before their death.

And if this were not enough ... A genuine bloodstained turban taken from the battlefield and donated by the heroic 24th Light Infantry to the first lucky patriot who accepts this once in a lifetime offer!!! Yes, that's right a genuine Muslim turban taken from the still warm corpse of a proud but misguided hill fighter. PHONE NOW!