What
People Are Saying
Got something to say? Email
me
(But
be warned ... I answer my fan AND hate mail if you provide your email
address)
I don't get a whole lot of email from this site. The stuff I do get is mostly hate mail, which I morbidly enjoy reading. Most of the hate come from people who don't seem to have a strong grasp of the English language. Moreover, they seem to think grammar is more of a theory than a reality. Regardless, they're fun. They're almost as fun as the brain stem challenged freaks who Instant Message me.
When I moved this
site I had to scrap my old Guest book since making a new one turned out
to be worlds easier than changing the old link (it doesn't seem as though
it should I know, but it did) I hated getting rid of all that stuff though,
so it's all here as well (feel free to sign my new guestbook though)
So here it is ... the good, the bad and the inane....
Hate
Mail
Fan Mail
Freaks on the Net
Hate Mail
From Patriot69
You FUCKER! No one can EVER be '911-ed' out! 5000 people died for YOUR
FUCKING FREEDOM! MUSLIM SCUM! (Note: This was the very first comment
in my old guest book. It was also the very first piece of feedback I got
about the site.)
From Glenn
I just have to say that I like your site on a whole, but your sick idea
of a 9-11 snow globe is appalling. Why the fuck don't you just make a
holocost snow globe while your at it! You could have the ashes of Jews
flying around a concentration camp!
From LovelyLatex
"i think you are a hate full person who spends all her time hating
christians and people trying to find something to base her life on but
cannot figure it out.damn and your website is so apparent of your hatred..
i am not much of a religious praqctioner but i do know some one who needs
religion.. you need it not to worship but to find meaning in hating it.
you know why there are no humans who were aborted to tell the other side
of the story.. not just the mothers.. because they were murdered like
joseph mangele did the jews. stop the hate kid. i dont hate you i just
want people to think beyond idealogues both anti christian and pro christ."
(This came as a result of an IM chat, which I didn't have the foresight
to save. It's worth mentioning that when this guy first contacted me he
pretended to have an abortion fetish and went on at great length about
how wanted to attend as many abortions as he could because he got off
on it)
From God's Child
What is wrong with you? Don't you realize you're damning yourself to burn
in hell for all eternity?
From FreeSoul
I just read your 'Wacky Christians' page and I think it's really sick
that you would make fun of people just because they want to believe in
something. It's attitudes like yours that make me sick - it's ignorant,
narrow minded and self-righteous. why don't you find something to believe
in so you can stop making fun of everyone else?!?!?
From MarineFX
Commie! You think you're so important and smart ... and you dont even
care that you're cracking jokes at the expense of the men and women in
the armed forces who have fought and died for your rights!!
From Rev1
For your information, Jesus was not an alien, as there are no aliens.
For the LORD GOD created everything in the heavens and on the earth. Get
your facts straight before you start blaspheming against the LORD GOD
who gave you life.
Anonymous (via the Updates Page) See
what the British Guy had to say about this!
I think your site is okay but I find it really anti-american. I know the
9/11 snow globe is just a joke, but it's not very funny. even your resident
birtish man seems to be anti-american judging from his answer to the very
first question posted. perhaps he's forgotten that we are allied and brothers
in arms? Don't try to get some laughs at the expense of america ... and
if you continue to do so, I suggest you change your name from Einstein
to Stupid
Anonymous (via the Updates Page) See
the Article and Response to this!
Yeah, this is about your article on cyber rape. Clearly you don't know
shit. Men (and people pretending to be men) on the net can really fuck
with you. And you say it's so easy to just shut off a
computer, but for some of us it isn't. We have what you'd call an addiction
and it makes turning off the net like turning off our lives - so what
would you suggest WE do? Not everyone is the same you know and it's people
like you - people who try and trivilaize the emotions and upsets of others
who make this world really fucked up and hard to live in. DIE YOU BITCH!
From SemperFi
That Guantanamo Bay thing was really fucked up. Maybe you're forgetting
that the poeple currently being held in that detention camp (where they
are, by the way, totally cared for and treated with strict adherence to
the Geneva Convention) are fucking terrorist assholes. The kind of people
who would, oh I don't know, maybe ......... FLY PLANES INTO BUILDINGS
AND KILL 5000 AMERICANS! Or should we just be holding fucks like that
down in Mayberry County lock up?
From PainedArtist
I like your site for the most part and think it's really neat. But I got
the impression from your 'poetry' page that you were making fun of poetry
which means you don't truly understand that art form and perhaps you should
stop it. We mock that which we don't understand.
Anonymous (via the Updates Page)
Yeah, this is about the increasing anti-Americanism on your site. If you
don't like it here - MOVE!
(Note to whomever sent this - and to anyone else who feels the same
way. I'm not Anti-American - I am, in fact, very rpoud to be an American.
But, just for the record, I don't actually live there.)
From WEWON (via the Updates Page)
Ha, ha. You're so obviously one of those mamby-pamby liberal tyoes. well
now you're stuck with 4 more years of harcore Republican know-how. And
this time we're going to get it right. By the time we're done, people
like you won't be allowed to spout off with all the venemous rhetoric.
So you and your little British man better live up while you still can.
Wake up and smell the coffee - America owns everything and we're in charge!
(The British Guy says: So long as Americans are too scared to even
include their email address with hardcore comments such as this, I think
we'll be safe for the moment. Oh, and by the way, the term is 'namby-pamby'.
I can't be arsed to correct the rest of your poor grammar and spelling.)
Top
Fan Mail
From SarahSue (the gory granola grrl) (My bestest friend)
great job, kelly grrl - i'm glad you decided to give in and build a website.
can I tell you how much I *heart* (and miss) that squishy brain of yours?
:)
From Tyler D
Hey, Einstein. I just read your story, "Confession," and I have
to tell you, you've got the talent, man. Overpower with subtlety, remembering
less is more. As a fellow writer-in-progress, I wish you the best of luck.
It's so cruel: You can't make them like your work, or even you, for that
matter. Take it easy.
From Mrwicked
You are an unusual and interesting person
From K. Guggenheimer
You're a fantastic writer. Keep on truckin'. The future is yours for the
asking.
From Dave
YOU'RE MY MUSE!!! .... I swear I would eat the peanuts out of your shit
From Laurel
... you have a mad cool site. I'm out....One
From Xxavier
AS Revolting as you may find this (or not) we share a sense of humour,
I like your site. The Jesus story was right up my street and the handicaped
parking issue is one that really bugs me as well (a broken off tooth pick
in the lock used to work well). I sense you enjoy rattling a few cages
and being outrageous from time as much as I do.
From CannibalMan
If you were served at a dinner I would eat you, but I would be crying
the whole time because it would be sad that someone so cool would be dead
but I would eat you anyway because I bet you would be tastey.
From Steve
I just wanted to send a quick note to say that you are possibly THE coolest
chick I've seen online and perhaps ever heard of. ... Awesome, awesome,
awesome! :)
From Frank
Tommy Chong? Good fucking god!
Einstein rolled over in his grave. Or jar or whatever they keep him in.
(this post originally was listed under Hate Mail, but Frank had shown
me the error of my ways...)
That WAS fan mail. Huge, enormous, tremendous fan mail. I may just be
your number one fan. Really. I thought it was charming; should I have
GUSHED? No, that would have been an insult.
I read the Gum story--it was great and I voted for it, attaching a note
asking that my vote count as ten. Of course there would be gum under the
periodic table--wonderful idea and great writing.
Re: the guy who wrote about the WTC snow globe. I think is a holocaust
snow globe is a great idea too. My hope, my dream is that someday we will
live in a world where all the citizens of Earth will be free to express
themselves through Snow Globes.
From Hungry Joe
I opened [your email] and read your story. I even printed it so I could
enjoy it while kicking back. It's great! You got my vote.
From This_Is_Fight_Club
Hey, Einstein, you've got a mad whickedy site! Keep up the fucking great
work.
From Tom (Regarding The British
Guy)
He's quite mad, you know.
From MST2999
That story about the gum is totally sweet! You should be famous or something
From Alyon
Hi, while I'd love to offer you a book deal or some kind of endorsement
with a large publishing company, all I can say is "thanks",
and I especially enjoy Death's Blog. I find your writings to be touching,
and other compliments that use words too big for my head.
From John A,
Austin TX
I recently discovered your site in a fit of work-induced boredom. As I
perused your love-hate emails, I immediately became intrigued about the
WTC Snowglobe. Two words: FUCKING BRILLIANT. I am not taking anything
away from that morning- it was absolutely horrible, and I couldn't believe
what I was seeing when I turned on the news. However, I think that it
has been denigrated by opportunistic politicians as well as these creative
entrepreneurial 'artists,' and we on the whole eat that crap up. Anyway,
props on the snowglobe, and keep on truckin' with the site.
From Cheryl
Pure genius is when you can make one dance the line between fascinated
and nauseated. Bravo!
From Peter
I hope that you find the medication that you really need.
From Light-n-Happy
LOVE this site - it's totally boss! Linda's
Last Flight sent chills down my fucking spine!!!!!
From Christy
Good for you on the Cyber Rape article. I totally agree, it’s ridiculous.
As someone who has actually experienced sexual trauma I find it extremely
offensive that any internet advance could be even comparable to crimes
committed in reality. Thank you for bringing my attention to this.
From Em
I Just wanted to tell you how much I enjoyed reading Death's Blog. I haven't
been captivated like that for a long time; your writing is awesome!.
From Whadyoutalkinbout
The Death Blog is totally addictive - are you going to publish it as a
book? Emily would be a great character in a movie, too. Way better than
the shit currently on cable with a similar theam.
From SnifferDog
Your stories, articles and blog have kept me from getting any work done
today. You should be designated a Class A drug
From Phylos,
on the Bizarre Message Board
... the death blog is a work of genius I take my hat off to you
Update from 'Ke'ri' Hansen
Hey -- I did a random google search, and just found your website that
counts down the twenty best internet celebrities. Thanks for putting Ke-Ri
Hanson at number
12.
Ke-Ri's a fake. I
know because I made the site myself while I was working at a dead-end
job at a commercial agency. I killed her off when I couldn't decide what
to do anymore -- but I still have a yahoo mailbox with about a thousand
brilliant e-mails from strangers. It was a strange trip while
it lasted. I forget it's still there sometimes.
Thanks again
for the props,
Eva Anderson
Hollywood, CA
From John
Tis true of Death’s Blog. I wasted an entire day reading every single
entry. Now I salivate hoping for more.
From Talia
I may have to dispute your choosing Indiana Jones as the end all and be
all of manliness. Although he is EXTREMELY cool (that can't be denied),
he's afraid of snakes. Shouldn't a real man be able to get rid of creepy
crawly things?
I was thinking of nominating B.A. (Mr. T) from the A-Team to your list,
but I decided against it. His fear of flying made me waver, but it was
the abundance of gold jewelry that finally did him in.
Hmmm... have to
admit there's a certain logic here - anyone have a better idea for the
ultimate man for all other men to be judged against? Now
taking nominations
From Larry B
Tell Emily's ghostwriter (sorry -- couldn't help myself) that he/she
is doing a great job and this Clevelander loves the blog.
From Charles
I started reading the Death Blog here at work and got hooked. I had to
pull myself away to get back to my menial tasks at hand. Have you or do
you have plans on putting your blogs together as a book? I would definitely
buy one even if it was just so I don't have to print out the on-line versions
to read at my leisure away from the computer.
From LivingLoco
Great stuff my good friend! Your stuff makes me laugh. Sometimes I laughed
so hard I almost spit milk oudda my nose!
The Puke or Soup Quiz brought a lot of welcomed attention to EinsteinShrugged.co.uk!
The following sites linked to us as of March 21, 2004:
http://www.pinokiller.web-log.nl/
http://www.savedelete.com/000390.php
http://www.alldumb.com/
http://www.80sxchange.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=55
http://attu.blogspot.com/
http://www.nwsgaming.com/index.php?fileid=4
http://planet.blogspot.com/
Top
Freaks on the Net (In
Progress, Obviously...)
Not everyone I chat
with ends up here - not even all the freaks end up here. Some people are
pleasantly twisted and even if I think there's something mentally wrong
with them, I can still really enjoy their company. This space is reserved
for those who are not only warped but who are also either thick as Texan,
perverted as a Catholic priest or just so incredibly brainless that I
feel the urge to share them with all of you. More on the way soon ....
Update (19 November)
- I have three new conversations to tidy up and include in this section
and I'm hoping to have them done in time for the next update - so check
back soon
wildcatx_it
amagic1
Bleeding_4_u
SenseYouAll
wildcatx_it
wildcatx_it:
hello, do you want see my cock ?
einsteinshrugged: it would have to
be pretty big for me to see it from here
wildcatx_it: sorry
einsteinshrugged: sorry for what?
Sorry for your pathetic opening line or sorry it's not that big?
Top
amagic1
amagic1: hi there..how are you?? can
i ask you a very unusual question??
einsteinshrugged: sure
amagic1: ok...now...have you ever
laughed so hard..that you.....
amagic1: actually peed your pants???
lol
einsteinshrugged: Um, not really.
I've shot milk out of my nose though - does that count?
amagic1: hahaha..thats pretty close..lol....i
have shot soda out of mine!
amagic1: still here?
einsteinshrugged: yup
amagic1: so never peed yet...lol
einsteinshrugged: well, not in my
pants. Not since I was four actually. I sort of make it a point not to
piss my pants.
amagic1: hehehe... lol
amagic1: i think most of us do..lol
amagic1: i made a gal pee her pants
laughing the other night..
amagic1: yahoo is acting up today...
einsteinshrugged: you made someone
pee their pants? I'm getting the impression you get off on this somehow?
amagic1: well..laughing!...not to
have sex with her!
einsteinshrugged: So you made her
piss herself and then laughed at her? Or you made her piss herself and
then the two of you got it on? Doesn't that smell *really* bad?
amagic1: hehee...no....i made her
piss herself....and not laughed at her...
amagic1: no...she didn't smell really
bad......
einsteinshrugged: so why the big fascination
with piss?
amagic1: and she was very attractive..but
my wife's friend..
amagic1: well...seeing her pee herself...it
was......interesting
amagic1: its not something you see
every day...especially a very sexy woman
einsteinshrugged: No, I suppose it's
not
amagic1: yeah...
amagic1: imagine if you saw your most
sexy guy.....
amagic1: do it...
einsteinshrugged: I'd push him into
the nearest shower, quite honestly
einsteinshrugged: I've seen men pee,
it just doesn't do anything for me
amagic1: hehehe...but you wouldn't
mind it as much...
amagic1: pee their pants..
einsteinshrugged: No, I really *would*
mind and it would totally kill any sexual tension there had been. I'm
not into incontinent men
amagic1: ummm....
Top
Bleeding_4_u
Bleeding_4_u: Salutations
einsteinshrugged: Greetings
Bleeding_4_u: I was just looking at
your site - very interesting
einsteinshrugged: Thanks! it's always
nice to get some feedback :) How'd you hear about the site?
Bleeding_4_u: A friend sent me a link
to your story 'Confession' and I really enjoyed it, I could see you had
a beautiful and poetic soul.
einsteinshrugged: Um, okay, thanks
Bleeding_4_u: You think that's funny?
einsteinshrugged: No, it's just not
a compliment I often get
Bleeding_4_u: Oh
Bleeding_4_u: Well, I can see through
this little facade you're putting on
Bleeding_4_u: I can see lots of things
einsteinshrugged: Are you a stalker?
Bleeding_4_u: No
einsteinshrugged: A psychic
Bleeding_4_u: Some might say yes
einsteinshrugged: A mystic
Bleeding_4_u: In training
einsteinshrugged: Are you a goth?
Bleeding_4_u: ~lol~ Well, I guess
that's one label for what I portray ... but it's so much more than that.
Labels just try to simplify things and I simply cannot be simplified!
einsteinshrugged: So, when you're
not being a shamen in gothic training, what do you do?
Bleeding_4_u: I'm in college and I
work (somewhat stereotypically) in a coffee shop at night and in a retail
store on day shifts
einsteinshrugged: Have you ever seen
that thing on Saturday Night Live about the goths with a talk show and
they all work at Cinnibun?
Bleeding_4_u: No, I never saw that.
But like I said, I'm not really what you'd call a goth - labels such as
that are used by people who don't know who or what they are and need to
be told what they are by other people who usually don't have a clue either.
einsteinshrugged: So you're working
your way through college? That's pretty hardcore. I'm surprised you have
time to read websites
Bleeding_4_u: well, I make times for
ones like yours
Bleeding_4_u: You clearly have a lot
to say but I think it strange that you choose to hide it under this facade
einsteinshrugged: I'm not sure I know
what you mean - what facade? Everything on my site is my own stuff and
I'm not putting on any kind of front with it - it just is what it is
Bleeding_4_u: I can tell you're holding
back, trying to hide your vulnerability
Bleeding_4_u: perhaps even trying
to hide ...
Bleeding_4_u: ...
Bleeding_4_u: from yourself?
einsteinshrugged: No... what are you
talking about? How did you come up with this idea?
Bleeding_4_u: Like I said, I read
'Confession' and then I read some of those death Blog entries - and even
some from your own blog and some of the other things and you can just
see these flashes of the 'real' you in them, but they're also obscured
by this hard / cynical shell you seem to put on
einsteinshrugged:<smile> I think
you're assuming that I'm a lot deeper than I really am, dude.
Bleeding_4_u: I don't think so. I
think you're lying to everyone - including yourself
einsteinshrugged: lying to myself
about what?
Bleeding_4_u: The true nature of who
and what you are
Bleeding_4_u: The world is a mass
of misery and despair, your words should reflect the anguish you feel.
einsteinshrugged: But I don't always
feel anguished. Actually, the for the most part, I'm pretty happy
Bleeding_4_u: No one is happy
einsteinshrugged: I am
Bleeding_4_u: You're not
einsteinshrugged: How long have you
been in college?
Bleeding_4_u: This is my first year
- my mind is open and expanding, I'd been awakened to the meaningless
of it all
einsteinshrugged: Okay see, right
there ... so that makes you, like, what ...18? 19?
Bleeding_4_u: 19
einsteinshrugged: Okay, well, see,
the thing about that is ... the real world must still be pretty new to
you - I went through a phase like that - I was very goth ... except I
couldn't handle the footwear - those boots are a killer. I prefer the
run of the mill army issues. Maybe you just need some more comfortable
footwear - it can really affect your outlook on the world.
Bleeding_4_u: ?
einsteinshrugged: See, my point is
that at some point you realize that walking through your life fostering
nothing but misery and despair doesn't accomplish anything. You want some
happiness, go out an find some. Your life sucks? Then do something to
bring about a change.
Bleeding_4_u: Nothing is that simple
... or that easy
einsteinshrugged: I'm sorry ... did
I say it was easy? Or simple? Don't get me wrong - it's neither! Life
is hard work, existence isn't for pussies. Either you can buck up and
take it or you can walk around whining until you eventually drop dead
and realize on your deathbed that your life has been wasted.
Bleeding_4_u: I can see you're not
the person I thought you were
einsteinshrugged: Definitely not,
thank christ. I wouldn't be able to survive had I not shed my own bleak
outlook
Bleeding_4_u: I still think you're
lying - I have a feeling you know exactly where I'm coming from.
einsteinshrugged: I do ... I TOTALLY
do! It's just that I'm in a different place in my life than you are. And
there's nothing wrong with that is there? I mean, we all grow and change
over time. Who knows, maybe in 5 years you'll be sounding like me and
I'll be sounding like you. People change.
Bleeding_4_u: Not once you've seen
the truth.
einsteinshrugged: You liked The Matrix
trology didn't you?
Bleeding_4_u: I don't see what that
has to do with anything
einsteinshrugged: That's a yes
Bleeding_4_u: Look, nevermind, just
fuck this. Nice site, but you know what I'm talking about here and one
day you'll stop trying to put that front on. I'll check back on you.
einsteinshrugged: Okay dude, glad
you liked the site
Bleeding_4_u: Yeah, whatever
Top
SenseYouAll
SenseYouAll: Hey, saw ur site
SenseYouAll: Loved it
einsteinshrugged: Thanks! :)
SenseYouAll: U like death?
einsteinshrugged: Well, I'm interested
it.
SenseYouAll: U like blood?
einsteinshrugged: Um ... where are
you going with this?
SenseYouAll: I like blood. I like
you.
einsteinshrugged: Nice to see mental
patients have access to the net.
SenseYouAll: That wasn't nice.
einsteinshrugged: Sorry dude but you
have to admit, you're being more than a bit strange here.
SenseYouAll: Your the one with the
whole death thing on your site.
einsteinshrugged: Yeah ... and I have
a lot of other stuff there too.
SenseYouAll: Well that was my fav
part.
einsteinshrugged: Glad to hear it.
SenseYouAll: Wanna fuck?
einsteinshrugged: Um .. no.
SenseYouAll: C'mon, I could make you
have a petit morte.
einsteinshrugged: Okay, seriously
no.
SenseYouAll: C'mon
einsteinshrugged: Fuck off
SenseYouAll: Cold bitch
einsteinshrugged: Yeah well, it's
all about the death isn't it?
einsteinshrugged: Wanker.
